Musings

The Complete Guide to Getting Zero Closure (And Being Ok With It)

  • Pretend you’re the Bill Paxton submarine explorer guy from Titanic.

Except the Titanic is all your big problems. These are the problems you can’t reconcile with and have no hope of ever re-introducing into your life again. Get down there and look at them all, one by one. Think about them if you want to. Feel all the feelings you can at that moment. Sit there with them for as long as you need to get all the important information down–just like a super-serious explorer professional, deep-sea diver scholar person would do. Don’t make any judgements or conclusions! Just record all the information. My, what a big, strong, information recorder you are! Of course, your heavy oxygen tank will only last for so long and now you have to go back up to the surface, leaving all the Titanic analogous people and experiences behind, carrying nothing back but the dry, raw facts in your mind.

  • Now, forget about it.

Unload the oxygen tank and put down the excavated material. Go grab some lunch or I don’t know some fruit or something. Forget everyone. Smell the air around you. Focus entirely on the taste of the fruit you are chomping down on right now. Is there anything more succulently fresh than a newly ripe watermelon? I ASK YOU. (Fun Fact: Your mind is still working on those deeply buried problems, just not really bothering about ’em. How gobsmackingly amazing is that?)

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2 thoughts on “The Complete Guide to Getting Zero Closure (And Being Ok With It)

  1. A very touchy topic that has personally been looming around my subconscious for the past 5 odd years. I’m in a similar situation with a high school friend and till this day try to analyse on how and why the relationship faded. Although, we hardly bump into each other like in your situation……ouch! Akward! Despite some attempts every once in a while, it seems returning to the same level of friendship has now become futile.

    Thanks for the lovely tips and great post.

    1. Ok, first of all, I really have to apologize for this monstrously late reply! I actually thought I replied much sooner but it turns out that WordPress (or maybe my internet connection?) went wonky and didn’t post my original earlier reply many weeks ago. Totally my bad.

      And, yes, that can be a very sticky situation to be in and the potential for awkwardness is unparalleled. The closer you used to be with that person the more you’re going to realize that getting closure with them once you are no longer a part of each other’s lives is, really, almost impossible. You just have to make peace with it and trudge along with this minor annoyance that will fade over time.

      Thank you for your consistently strong comments, man! Truly appreciated.

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